By David W. Edgerly, Ph.D.
Copyright 1993 and 1998. This story may not be reproduced without written permission of Untaming Programs.
Hannah thought back to the many nights lying in her bed listening to the tape of the whale's song. Her passionate interest in whales had lasted far longer than most interests ever endure for a ten-year-old. For well over a year she had studied the majestic creatures, fascinated by their power and beauty.
It was the birthday of her tenth year when her father had given her the tape of the song whales sing. The eerie, haunting sound they emit as they call to each other. The tape was paired with a promise that this winter, instead of going ice fishing, the family would take their vacation to the coast to go whale watching. Hannah was elated. Her father rarely noticed her and she was actually surprised he even knew that she was enchanted with whales. The fact he would support and encourage her was even more unusual.
In retrospect Hannah realized she hadn't needed to be surprised. After her birthday she spent much of her free time reading about whales, looking at pictures of the sleek black whale bodies, and listening, ever listening, to that tape. She had practiced with the tape for months and could almost create the whale sounds herself when her father came to her and told her that again this year the family would be going ice fishing. The surprise felt crushing. This was the time her father was supposed to come through--the time that would make up for years of neglect and broken promises. This was to have been the end to his laughter and criticism. Now a surprise which was no surprise
The trip had started much as usual. Hannah's father and her brothers would head off each morning, bright and early; to cut their hole in the ice and spend the day with their lines in the water and whisky laced coffee warming their hands. At night they would stagger back to the cabin where Hannah and her mother were expected to clean and cook the days catch.
Usually Hannah was quiet and shy, staying close to the familiar. Finally, after one too many disappointments her abdomen ached with the pain of unfulfilled dreams. With the ache as fire in her muscles she ventured out on the third day, hiking several miles above the lake where her family fished. There, much to her surprise and delight, Hannah discovered a second lake. As she crested the ridge, her legs tired from the uphill climb, the spectacular sight of the massive body of frozen water delighted her. Her nostrils filled with the smell of clean air and scented pines as her eyes sparkled at the magic of her discovery. Exhausted she plopped down next to the water, simply sitting, watching and listening.
Most of that day was spent sitting quietly. She saw raccoons and foxes come to the lake looking for water. She heard birds pass overhead, singing their winter songs, and she felt the cool, crisp air tingle the skin of her cheeks and nose. At the end of the day she hiked back, tired but refreshed, to cook another batch of the men's catch. As Hannah drifted off to sleep she sensed that she had something the rest of the family didn't have--something that distinguished her as different. The realization made her smile.
Each morning, after the fishermen left, Hannah would head back up to her lake. Each day she sat patiently, enjoying her private realm, and dreaming about whales. On the third day, when she first heard the sound, she couldn't believe it was anything but her imagination. Yet the sound was so distinct. The first vibrations came from the far end of the lake and began to rumble under the ice growing louder as the sound approached her. It was remarkably like the sound she learned from the tape, and as it grew in volume she could sense that whatever was creating the harmony was passing right in front of her, turning in the cove to her left, and returning back out across the depths of the lake. Her skin tingled with excitement as her eyes frantically searched the vast white sheet of ice. That night she lay in bed confused, wondering what had happened, what she knew, and yet delighted at the mystery of the sound. The friendly sound of the power and beauty of whales.
For two more days she hiked to the lake and sat in quiet patience, listening for the sound. At first her muscles would be tense, but as she sat the sinews gradually relaxed, filling her with warmth. Her vision blurred slightly as she relaxed her eyes as they crossed at a point a foot or so in front of her. Then she would wait. The waiting in heightened awareness was eventually rewarded by the sound. Each day it would begin at the far end, rumble down under the ice, pass in front of her, then head back out to deeper water. She believed each time the creator of the sound lingered just a little longer in front of her before passing back out to the center of the lake. She imagined the sleek black back of a whale passing just below the ice in front of her and filled herself with the animal's power. At the end of the day she would head back to the cabin believing that she was actually growing taller with each trip to her personal lake.
The night before the last day in the mountains Hannah told her family about the lake and the sound. About the song of the mountain whales. Her father, in particular, watched his daughters eyes sparkle as her animated face energetically told of the wonder filled days. After a few minutes of listening that familiar grin graced his face, the grin that came just before the ridicule. He mimicked her energy as he emphasized the absurdity of her experience. His eyes danced, as tears filled Hannah's, and he slapped one of her brothers on the back as he roared with laughter when she ran sobbing to her room. That night Hannah wanted so badly to believe in her own experience yet was so torn apart by the years of input that made her doubt herself. How could she ever know? She wanted so badly to know.
The last day Hannah had almost rejected the idea of returning to the lake. She waffled so long that she headed up much later than usual. When she finally reached the lake's edge the sound was already occurring right in front of her, almost as though the creature was looking for her, missing her. She sat at the edge of the ice and soaked up the sound, the sound so much like a whale. The power and beauty of the sound echoed in her ears. Her mind began a struggle between the whale's song pouring into her ears, and the remembered sound of her family's laughter pouring out from her brain. The sounds clashed head on, over and over, one from outside her head, the other from inside.
Finally, as the roar of sound grew to unbearable levels, Hannah screamed out at the top of her lungs. Her voice shattered the silence of the wilderness as she wailed for peace from the ridicule and laughter in her head, and craving the solace of the strength of the whale's song. Her desperate cry echoed loud and long among the hills and across the lake. She sensed that the pines almost shook from the force of the blast from her lungs. How could she ever know what was real, between what she was told and what she sensed? She wanted so much to know.
Finally, in exhaustion she fell to her side and lay on the frozen ground whimpering. The rapid, shallow breathing of her pain gradually eased into deeper and more rhythmic breaths as she began to relax. Almost without awareness the song began to emerge from her lips. Softly, at first, the whale's song poured from her mouth and with each passing minute the song took on more and more force. Hannah hardly noticed the sound from the lake had stopped when she began singing, almost as though the creature was startled and was listening back. When her voice was loud enough to fill the air she began to hear the lake sing back. As it did the laughter and ridicule in her head began to ease.
The song from the lake grew louder and louder. Suddenly, Hannah's eyes grew wide as she watched the ice in front of her crack. The crack split fast and furiously down the length of the ice in front of her. Suddenly, as the sharp report of the ice cracking subsided, she saw a large, black form through the crack, and then a tall blow of water shot up through the opening in the ice. The black form lingered at the surface, removing any doubt from her mind. With a loud rush of the song the black form dove deep into the water. Hannah danced inside. She finally knew what she knew!
Program Descriptions Program Schedule Untaming Staff
About Chelona The North Carolina Connection
Contact Untaming Programs Educational Articles